Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Day Five
The Beatles sang, "I do appreciate you being round." William James wrote, "The deepest craving of human nature is the need to be appreciated." In the giving and receiving of appreciation, there is the powerful bond of grateful friendship.
Today, please think of a friend whom you appreciate. And please express your gratefulness directly to them. This can be done through any number of ways: a conversation, a letter, a gift. The method matters less than the meaning. However it's expressed, be as specific as you can be in letting your friend know why you're grateful for them.
Also, now that we're five days into these thirty days, please click here if you'd like a refresher in how and why this gratitude practice is unfolding as it is.
-Ken
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Having a good friend is a very special gift. My best friend died seven years ago; I miss her dearly and there is a hole in that place in my life. In this past year I have been given the gift of a new friend that through the years may become my new best friend. I say through the years because it takes that kind of time to develop that degree of relationship. My personal thank you to her is private, but I want to acknowledge my gratitude here for this gift. This does not in any way decrease the importance of many friends I have been blessed with; they are also of great importance in my life, and I have had the privilege of having that special bond where I can be me and “pour my heart out” (in both joy and pain). I am grateful for the gift of friendship populating my life!
ReplyDelete(From Ken) I just had a very rewarding conversation with a sponsee, a true spiritual friend. This person inspires me with their courage and willingness to grow their soul, even in the midst of some challenging circumstances. I let them know how our friendship brings the many blessings of sobriety home to me and deepens my own recovery as I am able to provide guidance to them. I am profoundly grateful for this person's presence in my life.
ReplyDeleteI always say that a true friend is someone who knows everything about you and loves you anyway. Someone who sees your beauty even when you can't see it yourself. Someone who you always know is there for you even when they can't physically be there for you. Just having them in your life makes things a little better. They stand by you even when they don't agree with you. They listen even when they have no idea what you are talking about. They encourage you in all your crazy ideas and never make you feel bad when you abandon them because they are not as great as you thought they were. They tell you what they really think and love you whether you take their advice or not. They welcome you into their hearts and their lives and their families without expectations or conditions. They know all your secrets and haven't run screaming.
ReplyDeleteI am so fortunate to have several really good friends, but there is one in particular who I am so grateful to have met. I love her like a sister, and through all the ups and downs and craziness and changes and joys and challenges the past 10 years have brought, we have always had each other. Even when our paths lead in different directions, we always come back together and in a way have never really been apart at all. The world is a better place for having her in it, and my world is most definitely better for her presence in it.
I am so thankful that I have one person in my life that I feel this way about. We live on opposite sides of the state and I miss her dearly. When we do talk on the phone we're normally quickly catching up before our kids make conversation unmanageable. And even if we don't get to the deep down stuff, we know we're supporting each other without those words having been said.
ReplyDeleteEvery once in a while I'll get a card in the mail including a picture of her 4-year-old twins. Just yesterday I got a random text message from her that said, "Missing you." And yesterday was a tough day for me, it's as if she knew I needed it.
It's difficult for me to cultivate a friendship, but she is one person I am so glad I put that time into. It's effortless and true.
I was so grateful to connect with my friend last night who lives hundreds of miles away, yet who is truly in my thoughts and prayers each day. We know each other's hearts in the profoundly meaningful way that transcends distance and time. Sometimes it feels unbearable not to be able to see one another more often (must be that desire for the oxytocin hug!) :) So, what a gift it was to wake up today and see gratitude for friendship on Day 5!
ReplyDelete"At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us." -Albert Schweitzer
I've already warned my best friend Sean to set aside time tonight so that we can skype. This is when I plan to tell him how much I appreciate him. I'm sure he knows, but he's going to hear it again. When I was in a psychiatric hospital for a week last December, being treated for severe depression and anxiety, he called me long distance from Canada every single day, and he had to try to get through multiple times a day because there was only one phone for the use of an entire floor of patients. No one else - no friends or family, no one - called me even once while I was there and he made sure he got through every single day. He knows every gory detail of my life and he still doesn't judge me, which is pretty amazing all things considered. There is nothing that I can't share with him. We talk every day either through messaging or skyping. I literally trust this man with my life - I even made him my primary health care proxy agent. He walked into my life right when I needed a miracle, and even though I only see him in person once a year, he remains that miracle for me.
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DeleteI have the most special friend. We joke that we are the same person because we think so much alike. She is always there for me as my friend, medical advisor, anxiety reducer, career counselor, life coacher but most of all she is always there for me as my mom. I couldn't be luckier and I tell her that all of the time!!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Lee for your friendship, conversation, laughter, open heart, and for introducing me to this site.
ReplyDeleteO'Connell! :) Thank you for this appreciation. You are such a true and wonderful friend. My heart is happy knowing you're enjoying the 30 Days.
DeleteIn another part of my life I have a new friend who carries around pre-stamped notecards in her bag... when she has a moment and is thinking of someone, she jots down her thoughts on the card and sends it off... with love. I began doing this today and found it to be so rewarding... my friend does not even have her card yet... but there it is, the feeling of love for her and for the moment that is coming where she feels my love.... <3
ReplyDeleteI'm only seeing this now so tomorrow I will call my dear friend of over 20 years. We rarely see each other but try to keep in touch on the phone. It can be hard to stay connected, and sometimes I fail. But I look forward to telling her how much she means to me.
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ReplyDeleteWe had a fire I my house a few days ago. While nothing, except the Coke machine whose wiring caught fire burned, everything in the 15 room house - including several hundred paintings - has to be removed and cleaned or replaced due to extensive smoke damage. Because I am in Mexico, my brother, who lives with me, is dealing with the insurance company, the workers, the cleaners, etc. Although I have thanked him a lot, it doesn't begin to sufficiently express the gratitude and love I feel
ReplyDeleteI thanked a new friend (past 6 months) for her ability to be there for me as I struggle with some personal matters. I remember the vulnerability I felt when I reached out to talk to her via phone for the first time. Now confiding in her (the joyful and painful) feels like home.
ReplyDeleteI also reached out to a love from my childhood. We recently reconnected on FB and I realized that he played a huge role in my life back then and wanted him to know that I appreciated it. I felt good to let him know that I am grateful for him.