Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Day Twelve
I don’t know about you, but “everybody hurts” is one of those universal truths that I still have a hard time understanding. I know that everyone will have pain at some point in their life. We all suffer. We all experience loss. Yet when I’m hurting, struggling with some reality that seems insurmountable, it can feel like I’m standing in the abyss, with the angry sea swirling around me. Like I’m the only one on the planet who’s ever known what this feels like.
It makes sense that we often feel this way. Our stories are unique – our suffering the product of our own histories, personalities, and circumstances. Yet an early mentor of mine in ministry once taught me something incredibly important: pain is pain. There is no ranking. There is no “insignificant” struggle. All of our suffering hurts. And when you are alone in the abyss, you have to deal with that sea swirling around you, no matter what other kinds of seas and rock formations might be out there in the world.
So hurting is hard, but hurting also gives us the tools to empathize – not to say, “I know exactly how you feel” or “I know how to fix this,” but to say, “I’m sorry,” and “how can I help,” and “I love you.” To not be afraid to say “I’m here” when a friend is in pain. Because when you have known pain, you have all the qualifications you need to be an excellent companion – to accompany someone else on their journey into and through and back out of that abyss.
Who has accompanied you in this way? At a difficult time in your life, who has been there to offer simple companionship? Express your gratitude to this person today, in a letter, e-mail, phone call – whatever feels most appropriate for you. Reach out in gratitude to let them know that their presence mattered.
- Lee
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Just watched this recently and was very struck by the segment that takes place between 3:15-4:30..... I felt the title actually missed capturing this really important part of the message that relates directly to today's thoughts about struggle. "There is no harder, there is just hard."
ReplyDeletehttp://www.upworthy.com/a-4-year-old-girl-asked-a-lesbian-if-shes-a-boy-she-responded-the-awesomest-way-possible
I've been feeling more depressed than is normal even for me. Today my daughter Deva told me that she bought me a pencil sharpener at the school book fair because she knew I wasn't feeling well. It's a little green circular plastic thing and she bought it with her own money.
ReplyDeleteI wrote her a thank you note with a green calligraphy pen on celestial themed stationery and put a big gold wax seal on it. I hope she enjoys it as much as I enjoyed the pencil sharpener. :-)
There are several friends, but have to say that one stands out. He is a fellow WS member and he has helped me through big issues. I will send him a letter. I know, though, that he already knows, as we've talked and looked each other in the eyes. What a blessing. Carole H.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Angie, for sharing the "closet" talk. Cute story about the 4 year old. Ash Beckam makes some good points. It's easy to compare my hard vs. your hard, but her statement "There is no harder, there is just hard" is simplistic I think. It's pretty obvious that, despite the problems and pain that eat away at me, some people's hard is most definitely harder. I tend to keep my painful feelings to myself, and I am aware that empathy is something I lack. My brother has been trying to help me be more empathetic and sensitive or at the least pick up on his discomfort or distress. If I can remember to do that, maybe empathy will follow. Thanks, bro.
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